The moment I realized we are drifting apart

I met one of my best friends on a youth trip when I was in high school. We went to Colorado for a snowboarding trip. My sisters weren’t old enough to go so my parents sent me with an family and she came with her brother. Since there was a strict policy on male and female only rooms and we both didn’t know anyone else going we had made no requests on roommates. We found out that we were bunking together once we arrived in Colorado. We got along really well and it turned out that her dad and my mom actually grew up in the same area and went to high school together. It was like we were meant to be friends!

We kept in touch after the trip and it turned out that a couple of years later we got accepted to the same University. We choose to live together our freshman and sophomore years. We laughed, we cried, we fought, we made up. We moved far apart and then back together again, We’ve definitely had our ups and downs. It’s been about 12 years now and we are still friends. She knows more about me than most the other people in my life.

When I found out I was moving to Chicago 2 years ago, I was pretty excited. She had found out her fiance matched for Residency in Chicago a few months prior and we were going to be moving there around the same time. We made plans to figure out the city together. In the beginning we saw each other pretty often. She got married about 5 months after we moved and then things started to change slowly. One of her husband’s best friends and his wife live in the same building as them and they started hanging out a lot. They had been living in Chicago for a few years before we came and had a circle of friends that they introduced my friend to. As time passed she started making more and more plans with them than with me.

It’s not really her fault. Life kind of just worked out that way. I was studying for exams for a good chunk of the last two years so I really wasn’t available to hang out as much. Also, most of the new people she met were couples which made it easier for her and her husband to plan things. They invited me to do group activities with them every now and then and were really nice, but being the third or fifth wheel all the time can get kind of awkward.

At the beginning of this year I told her that I was done with all my exams and moving after graduation in May and that I wanted to make the most of the time that I left in Chicago. With all the extra school work gone I had a lot more free time to actually do things. I reached out a few times to try and plan things but it didn’t really go anywhere. We basically only hung out if her husband was on call and she didn’t have other plans. I hadn’t talked with her in a while and I brought up my move a couple of months ago and she was surprised. She said that she thought I was going to be here for another year. I tried not to be mad that she didn’t remember. I made a conscious effort to keep in touch regularly. We’ve hung out a few times since then but not like we used to. Today she sent me a text asking if I had an official move out date. I told her when I planned to leave and she responded that this month she is really busy and has people visiting and stuff planned for every weekend. I took that as her way of saying that I probably won’t see her before I leave. I wasn’t expecting a going away party or anything but I thought she would at least reach out and come see me before I left.

I’m pretty hurt by the whole thing and part of me really wants to ask her what happened, but then I think about it and realize I don’t want my last couple of weeks here to be drama filled. I know that she will always be in my life and I’m sure we will continue to be in touch, but for now I think life is taking us in different directions. I hope that we find ourselves getting closer again one day.

Thanks for joining in on another sad adventure; together maybe we can make the saddest of adventures become just a little less sad.


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